its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
