By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you never un-have a 4some
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
