I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
