Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry about my life...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
