No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
