Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
