New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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