I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
