If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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