6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
