if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
