You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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