went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
