I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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