census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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