I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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