Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
