Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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