Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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