We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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