I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize