you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
