Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
