When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
