Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she smelled like a LAN party
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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