WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
