just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
