I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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