i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
