Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
