Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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