so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize