The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
