Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
