it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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