this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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