im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
