i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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