I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
