Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
