he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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