Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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