Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
