There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
