Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
BRING THE BAGELS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
