I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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