are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
