my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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