I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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