i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize