he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
