But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
