I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
