i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
