Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize