So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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