Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hippo gnu deer
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
