I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
