What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
