I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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