at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
