Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
