jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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