I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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