Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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