How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
