in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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