he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
