your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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