Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
