I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
