i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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